iPhone Moms

Moms and dads all over the U.S. are hunching over their smartphone devices all while their children are left to play, often unnoticed. Smartphones like the iPhone are supposed to keep people connected but some argue that this constant link to the "cyber" world is actually disconnecting parents with their children.

According to a recently published article in the Deseret News by Tonya Ferguson, a blogger and mother of four, titled “Dear Mom on the iPhone,” mothers and fathers are missing out on a lot of fleeting moments in their child’s life. It suggested that parents who use their iPhone during playtime with their kids are present but not really there.

You've seen it yourself, time and time again at playgrounds or at a restaurant. Parents distracted by their devices, their children vying for their attention. But are the parents aware of their own behavior?

Archana Aranha, 35, a stay-at-home mother of San Jose, is embarrassed to say that she's addicted to her iPhone. She said she always uses the time at the playground, or while her daughter is preoccupied, to update her Facebook status and to read through her news feed.  Aranha said she used to be on the phone all the time and felt guilty about it so she’s “making a concerted effort “ to limit being “connected” to the Internet while out with her daughter.

Deirdre Imagire, 34, mother of two boys, said she's less present with her second child because of technology and feels ashamed. “I only have an iPod Touch that has wi-fi at home and at coffee shops and I definitely notice I’ll be less present nursing baby #2 than I was without it nursing baby #1,” she said.

Not all parents are feeling the guilt.

Chantal Zoutendijk, 39 and mother of two, says her iPhone has actually enhanced her parenting. “Thanks to the smartphone I spend more time with the kids. I'm less behind the PC because I can do most things on the phone.” She added that her kids learn a lot from the educational apps on her iPhone as well.

Melissa Himes, 25, doesn't buy in to feeling guilty or the idea that she's a bad parent. She says she loves her iPhone and being able to take photos and videos anytime, anywhere. “It's easier to keep in touch with family via email and text when I am so busy being a stay at home, homeschooling mama," she said.

The "Dear Mom on the iPhone" article created a lot of stir on the internet and while it touched many mother's hearts, curbing their digital vices through a heavy load of mommy guilt, others spoke out in defense. Top mom blogger, Jill Smokler, aka Scary Mommy, posted her reaction titled "Dear Mom Judging Me For My iPhone." She said what many "iPhone moms" might wish to say to the world:

"Well, I am that mother at the park on her iPhone, thank you very much. I’m the one who gets scowled at and pointed to and written about. Sometimes it’s the park, others it’s an indoor playzone or maybe it’s a birthday party. If I’m out with my kids, and they are entertained, it’s not uncommon that my iPhone is entertaining me. But that fact doesn’t make me a bad mom. In fact, I’d argue that it helps make me a better one.
Checking in on Twitter or Facebook allows me to collect myself and maintain a sense of humor about things that might otherwise set me off. It’s kind of the social media immersed mother’s version of a long drag on a cigarette. It helps ground me and gain perspective. The permanent marker covered Evan a few years ago would have been far more upsetting than amusing were it not for the ensuing hilarity in Facebook comments. Having my friends and community a simple click away is a much needed break at the very least, and a near lifesaver at the most."